Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Breaking the Silence

Since I wrote my first post yesterday I have heard from a number of people who are "impressed" that I could be so public about my abuse. They have said that they "could never be so brave". This just shows how well ingrained the idea of shame is in our minds. It also shows how our culture encourages silence with the "what will people think" idea. I want to address these thoughts in today's post.

I want to thank those people who contacted me. I do not feel brave, but perhaps I am and don't realize it. I just want people to see me for who I am and to understand me. Perhaps this is my way of testing people, by saying, "Here I am. Do you accept me?"

Unfortunately, too often I am met with comments about how I shouldn't tell people about my past. I don't understand why people think I should hide in dark corners and never reveal what has happened to me. Why should I be punished for being a victim of child abuse? Abuse has been a part of my life experience. It helped create who I am, a loving, caring and passionate woman. I have the right to be as open about my life as the person who had a wonderful childhood. We both have learned many things from our experiences, many valuable lessons.


  1. Never again is exactly why your past should not be hidden from your children. To really know our parents is a gift and as we grow older we learn to appreciate who they are and understand them to be a product of their experiences and hopefully to admire them for who they are and what they have given us. Congratulations on breaking your silence. I know g-d blesses you.

    Shabbat Shalom

  2. Thank you, anonymous. I hope my struggles and victories give strength to my children, as well as others ou there.

  3. so true! there is a bit more openness in the frum community now, but still, not nearly enough...